Chapter 2

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Chapter 2 of my Poetry Series:    

"Love; Lust; Limerence and other drugs"

  https://seagxddess.blogspot.com/

Aftermath of Wrath

​

I don’t think I can forget this feeling; 

Failing after trying it all.

I was so loyal that I betrayed myself;

and I saw it after everyone else. 

I tried to fix it with space; but I stopped

taking up my own. 

I tried to fix it with time; but I stopped

keeping track of mine. 

I tried fixing it with flesh; but “that”

wanted my bones. 

I tried fixing it by building; but “that”

wanted my rubbled home. 

I tried living in peace; but "that" kept bringing

home trouble.

I don’t think I’ll forgive this feeling;

simply for being felt. 

I don’t think I’ll try again; because once

you have to try to fix it nothing helps. 

~FIN~

Peace

Calm down; its okay to start again.

Breathe in; you gotta be your own best friend.

Relax; its  okay to take a step back.

Start at 100; discomfort is an attack.

Find your way to 0; so you can start at one

Back to your center before the battles start to come.

Where your love was leveled; before the war began.

Find your way calm; calmness is where you begin.

No Contact

I told you I can’t help you do shit. 

I gave you too much energy; now that energy is spent.

I can’t help you relieve no burdens. 

I left with all of my own.

I can’t even help you take a piss. 

You came to my Queendom and did that on my throne.

I can't see where you are honest at; not to call you a liar. 

You pour gasoline on bridges; drop off a lit match and blame some else for the fires.

That dont make you a liar; maybe I should say an opp.

Got the nerve to ask me shit when you worst than a cop.

Go ask one of them neighbors you was sleeping around with.

My bad you just wanted a cup of water.

 

We got bottled at the house; and the bill ain't printed yet.

Your mouth stayed dry; but your dick got wet.

Bro you gotta pick it up how I’m laying it down;

I’m not your friend cause I was your clown.

You put me in every circus available in town "friend".

With a friend like you who needs an enemy then? 

You got forgiveness mixed with; a clean slate 

you did too much damage for that to date.

There is nothing to left forgive. 

The lies been processed; I have finished my bid. 

I can’t give you the space to apologize for what I already know you did.

Ain’t no reintroduction necessary we’re not family bro. 

I’m not even your co-parent; I’m somebody you used to know.

Keep it that way.

You set up the game we gonna run the whole play. 

I’m a fix this same table and I’m a eat off a new plate. 

This struggle ain’t new to me; it’s slowly getting better instead of worse I dare say.

 

Its taking me a while cause I had to put out the fires that you started. 

Redeeming my reputation from chasing flying monkeys; turning off that gaslight. 

So to every question you got my answer is hell no! Alright!

Falling in

You don’t have be perfect.

You don't have to be right.

You don't have to be strong.

You don't have to fight.

This life is full of storms;

and its full of pain.

You could be surrounded by chaos

and still be at peace.

Don't hold on to the past;

let the future just be.

Be kind in your mind;

meditate to clear your head.

Don't hold every thought 

let them flow in and out like breath.

Think of exactly who you want to be;

dress yourself from head to foot.

Think of the most peaceful place

that you have never been.

Think of the floors under your feet;

think  and  take the most comfortable seat.

Now breathe steady, slow, and deep;

relax fully here you are at peace.

Spared

I can't fight for you;

I don't even have the will.

I have a loving heart but love isn't all I feel.

I fell between lines and underneath words.

Good lust is like a high but bad love can make you ill.

Love hurts; fake love kills.

Passion is pretty; it's beautiful until it ends.

So let nothing fester and don't be afraid to let it end. 

Save herself by will

Beauty is delicate; so divinely tailored only GOD can destroy it.

A weak man will try; a sick man will cage beauty just to watch it die.

Beauty is complex; it is fear inducing and awe inspiring when caught in the act of saving itself.

Beauty can harden or soften but true beauty never fades.

It resonates from inside; beauty goes into all that beauty gave.

A beautiful spirit is a beautiful being from the cradle to the grave.

Remote Fantasy

Lips press together, no curve, just straight.

"You want to perform; act like it's just a date."

Fill my lungs with air; behind my ear tuck my hair.

"Relax; its time to begin."

"Can I take your order?"

 "I'm going to win"

"I'll have one of these and that to drink"

"When we get home; I'm going to put you on your knees."

"I'm not giving up."

"Who said you had permission?"

Tuck the lower lip behind my teeth.

"Who's my good girl?"

I’m not a girl; but definitely me.

"And how about you ma'am?"

"I'll just take everything he got."

Eyes lock. Smile.

"I'll be back when your order is ready."

"Now where were we...yeah."

Sit upright; press my foot on to my ankle.

Press my knees together; clinch my thighs.

Smile gently now; make eye contact with people passing.

Bow my head to a tilt hide the exhaustion.

Look away again...

Breaking I cry out in confusion.

Knock over the wine; play into the illusion.

Exhale so that I can breathe; deep; deeper; inhale to its peak.

"Who's my good girl?"

"Dude you are such a freak."

Departures

I separated from it. 

I took my memories of love;

not romance just love.

Then I cut the cords;

unwound what was bound.

I let go.

I didn't fight to stick around

lover, family or friend.

Act like you want me gone

I'm going to treat it like an invitation .

Traffick Man

I should not be your concern; I don't want to be.

I want to finish what started the day that I departed to remain unseen.

I am not mentioning your names.

You don't get to inflict my pain and suffering

then tell me how to heal.

You don't get to take from me and kill then talk about what's happening.

You don't get to give an ounce and shit a pound on me.

You don't get to take food out of my mouth then call me weak for asking for bread.

You don't get to say and show  you hate me then cry because I go.

You don't get to treat me like I didn't deserve life then judge how I live.

I deserve my life and I learned that from removing you.

OUT

I release myself from your dangerous habits.

I release myself from the lie that I believed.

You are no where near someone like me.

I release myself from your life threatening parenting skill.

I release myself from your hurtful blood-ties.

I release myself from your like-minded surroundings.

I release myself from the mockery of excellence.

I release myself from drama fueled foolishness.
I am free from diminished accomplishments.

I am liberated from putting out fires started by stupidity.

I am done running in place just to make the wheels spin.

I live in peace; I keep low functioning people and spirits away from me.

I don’t need to battle unhealed, self hating nor bullies just to stand.

I am not teaching my daughters what I didn't know what made me look a fool.

Dont to run behind any man; if he act like he wants to leave let him have a go.

If you have to stand in front of judge for help with  them kids then he a whore.

Too weak to admit that his family is the street’s; he is fathered by his opps.

He loves his suppliers; he nurtures his habits.

I gave up looking for truth in the words of a liar.

I crawled out of depression; I stopped grieving the loss.

I am free of a lost cause that’s just not how I want life to be; 

street medication seeking from your enemy YEAH that's enough for me.

Do whatever it is you want; I am free.

Shut the window

Looking for peace in chaos is pointless;

but trying to find it is addictive.

Letting it go and leaving it alone is the only solution.

I am the catalyst; a catapult for what is resistant to change.

If they scar me with malice; they'll be healed with pain.

Keeper of the Balance can release sorrow like rain. 

By HIS love I come out of battles beaming; wounded and unafraid.

Move like Sahara sands I am the sharpest blade.

Still wisdom won't let me waste myself in a space or with man.

That takes progress from my purpose and makes life quicksand.

The only thing offered is being stuck in cycles victims cannot bare to leave.

They think treachery a call  to action untrustworthy in their misdeeds.

They put all faith in tit for tat; crooked is the only way they play.

They would rob and orphan blind then weep about the bed they made.

Take flight like the breeze  I'm not what you need; 

shut the window and stay away from me.

Insomnia

My brain is a most uncommon possession.

Beautiful beyond flesh and finance;

nothing exists that I would trade it for.

I love my brain; so much that having it belong exclusively to me excites my being constantly.

It’s process either sends me to ecstasy or completely dissects what's vexing me .

Releasing my inhabitations with its divergence from the perfection I demand.

No it is not a lapse in judgment; it is inner rebellion it makes a choice and takes stance.

Handing my rationale a list of demands; and while “the mind” and me are distracted 

the fucking brain takes action.

Why is my brain independent?

My brain is mine but does not belong to me.

It is in no prison.

It lives without captivity.

My brain is free; to do what it damn well pleases.

My brain has its own audacity.

While I’m begging my brain to just act right.

We can pick up negotiations at first light.

I hate catfish

If I shit on a corner you would run to ram your nose in it.

I hate you bitch and now that I have your attention let me scribe your lying conniving ass some shit.

I ain’t never go give you attention bitch; I’d rather pretend you don’t exist. 

Fuck you. That’s it.

​Let me be love.

Let me return to my truest form.

Let me speak with compassion.

Let me hold silence with grace.

Let me rest my head in devotional space.

Let my body soak in love;

let my skin drink it up.

Let my hands be anointed;

let me bathe in love.

Let me feel the caress of bliss;

let passion grip my pinnacle. 

Let me be the aphrodisiac; 

like honey on the lips.

Let love sink into my flesh; 

pull me in to feel released.

Let love soothe my desires;

whisper lullabies to my lust.

Let love glide through my atmosphere;

till I am entwined in love.

Let love grow as a garden;

dew dancing in the moonlight.

Let me be the love 

I exuded from the inside. 

Playful and joyous in love

nothing can hide.

Forgive this

I know why...

Cause I learned to cover my ass and to leave you to fry.

Im not buying into no game if I don’t line up the play.

You can't fuck me while I'm sleep because I know I'm not property.

I ain’t laying with a bleeder cause you want that to be the way I play.

I ain’t holding no grown man hand to cross into adulthood babe.

I ain’t giving no grace to bare feet.

I ain’t forgiving you for kicking me when I was weak;

For boiling my old bones to make your new glue.

Bitter with me for returning your energy back to you.

No you keep that; I match vicious.

Your backwards confessions;

trying to teach me a lesson but this is it.

You were a fuck up for me but I raised you kid.

Until you show me respect as your adult hood mother…

Fuck you and your money BITCH.

Realizations Repeated

​

I spent way too much time in the angry stage of healing.

The stage where the line that’s not to be cross is made of fire.

The act is “safety in the furrows of channeled fury”.

The “don’t play with me cause; I ain’t to be played with” scene.

Those curtains have closed. 

The stage is dark.

That act is over.

The scenes have ended.  

I am so thankful to still be the me that lived behind the mask; brave enough to face the mirror. 

And say…..

I finally did it.

Survive

​I don’t care who is on his side. 

I don’t care who thinks I’m crazy or a lie. 

I don’t care who he tells about my reaction to his abuse or neglect. 

I don’t care who thinks he is nicer. 

I don’t care who thinks he is better. 

I don’t care who thinks I deserved it. 

I care that I lived when he wanted me to die. 

I care that I didn’t drown in the tears I cried. 

I care that the rage he gave me became my hedge of protection.

I care that he can’t take the peace out of my home because he will never be accepted. 

I care that I learned to cut off his gaslights to give light to my path. 

I don’t care what anyone thinks; because I was strong enough to leave his ass. 

She; she; she

She this; she that. 

She, she, she from a bunch of people that don’t know me.

I don’t think I’m better than anyone; I know I’m worse.

I’m not holier than thou. I stay out of my ego and into a verse. 

I didn’t get lost; I got knocked down every time I stood up. 

Evil always sees greatness in a small child; and seeks to bleed it out her. 

Every time I stood up evil would pull me down to make me drown.

Broken spirits will sell pieces of the soul; 

the spirit  that breaks too bad it has to earn back control.

Like the angels said "your soul…you gotta pay in faith for that"; 

so every weapon that forms you’ll have to go to war or to bat. 

Battle after battle; breaks burns and scars.

I was born on the battlefield; coming home was a scar. 

Life ain’t shit; nature is the only beauty; energy is the only grace. 

Love is the only answer; GOD is the only face. 

These are mask of deception; spiritual networks with unknown connections. 

It’s the same somebody wearing different skin.

Until you break the demon “ya go face 'em again.”

The only answer lives in silence; with a voice without sound.

That silence needs love to speak or else the wicked comes round. 

I screamed just to survive. For peace, I needed silence to speak.

No words just Love of GODS energy on me.

The eyes of angels documenting the progress they see.

Hold my soul dear CREATOR; don’t give myself to me. 

Save the pieces of me from what  I must learn to defend.

Let me live in devotion to LOVE on earth; 

and when life ends my GOD may your will be done first.

 

I may fall like Icarus but at least I was touched by your love. 

If I am not even worthy of the gutters in Heaven I would rather be dust.

Ditzy Bitch

 

Well I guess I don’t know shit!

Yet somehow I got away from your "skits".

A fake life of drama and performance.

Love without action.

Care without thought.

Connection to deflection;

cause you never straight up.

Trailer parks and public housing

have bred greater graces.

From better stock than you;

oh "great suburban savior".

The kind that vows married and fuck freely anyhow. 

Old enough to know better; slimy enough not to give a damn. 

The kind that see every problem like a sell sword bleeding a curse.

The kind of which truth be said worse 

hide his bloody hands and screamed, "I was hit first”.

Jack Rabbit

 

I love you but you lie and cum too quick. 

You just speak to go along for the longest ride on the smoothest trip. 

When the truth hits; you’re the lie that reads the room.

When the veil thins you beat the good with the bad end on the broom. 

Not to say you’re doomed you’re just up on your fucked. 

I gave you enough chances; good bye and good luck. 

One day late and a bottle short

I didn’t fake the funk; you didn’t earn the fuck.

You say a lot of negative shit; and you think fucked up.

You drink too much; and you done smoked your belly rotten.

You stir too much shit; you put your hands on the right one.

I’m “the wrong” for this; I don’t fuck for nothing but wisdom and knowledge. 

I see you with your understanding; reading between the lines.

You’ll always look for the problem in understanding thats including mine. 

Short Lived

Its like....

Energy taste like the air moving between to lips just before a kiss.

Energy that feels like inhaling every nostalgic scent.

Energy akin to the apple of eyes welling up; an exhale and a smile.

Energy feels like inspiration meeting anticipation.

Energy is an open heart an inspired mind.

Maybe we might be two of the same kind.

Baby Cakes

I am not the prize;

I am the baby.

I am not high value;

I am priceless.

I am not wife material;

I am an indispensable asset.

Fostered

Nobody was there every day;

yet everyday somebody got something to say.

That girl is that...

That girl is this...

They couldn't answer what I wanted to be as a child.

They don't know if I like my food spicy or mild.

They think of me like a folklore or urban myth.

They couldn't name one science project they helped me with.

They couldn't tell you what my worst subject was or is.

Anything they got to say it's not out of love.

It's out of collective hate;

one day they just unionized against a bitch being great.

Now don't get me wrong I'm not grand at all;

I'm just not afraid to try; I'm just not afraid to fall.

I'm not afraid to take a good risk.

Nobody was there remember so for little me it went like this...

I grew up in Goodwill; they went to the mall.

When Santa brought gifts they had them all.

I got beat in the head; I got dragged by my hair.

Now that I'm grown, they are "concerned" and they "care".

I got yelled at for asking for $20 dollar shoes.

I wore the last pair till they sung the blues.

I brought my next pair myself when I was 14.

So before you tell me they worried about me...

What could you possibly mean?

Imagine

Imagine if I only wanted to be a mom on Mother's Day.

Acting like "Fuck them kids on every other day."

Imagine I wouldn't get a job to put food in their belly;

but I got one to support my efforts of having a new cellie. 

Imagine me villainizing Dad for wanting me to contribute.

Meanwhile I'm wrecking cars; while consuming more than I distribute.

Imagine me in bed pining for penis within close proximity.

While he asking soup kitchens and church's for favors with humility.

Imagine me saying he keeps me from my children!

When I couldn't call 4-digits of one child's number to me from an correctional institution.

Imagine he takes them children that I refused to mother;

while I'm married, dating one man; and taking one as a lover.

Imagine that man move on with his life;

and I call that woman pretending to be an abused wife.

Imagine that man works on co-parenting again;

and I come with a sad story cause all I do is manipulate men.

Imagine if he finally said enough is enough;

I destroyed my family...could I still ask for his trust?

Never Again

You, she and me?

REALLY?!?

Why would you put me in the middle of that?

The fuck is your problem; and said you was single man?

Did I tell you that I wanted to be the third wheel or your side bitch?

My heart was already bruised what’s really wrong with you kid?

Nah, seriously what made you think that disrupting my healing was cool or like it was something to do? 

Better yet did you think it was like that song and I would feel so good being used?

Did you figure you should take the carcass of our friendship (which was obviously fake);

cut pieces out of it mix it with lies and insult somehow make a diamond certified mixtape?

Or was it revenge cause I checked you on being full of shit?

Maybe it was because I was trying too hard to be a friend?

I’m curious, did it make you two closer in the end?

Was the distance that great?

Did the bridge that connected you start to crumble or did it break?

You had to braid my veins for ropes;break my bones to form a bridge 

for yall to get over whatever y’all goingthrough?

Did fucking me make the relationship better for you?

Did the taste of my pussy add spice to your life?

Bitch am I the glue that made shit right?

I’m asking, cause I wanna know what the fuck exactly did I do to encounter both of you?

You and your psycho bitch doing psycho shit;

hiding hands while throwing bricks like she ain’t do shit.

Meanwhile you so single really she don't exist.

"I gotta test that kid"

"No, no this where I live"

"We like co parent thats it" 

"Don’t overthink all the time."

Every word a damn lie.

Unknown Variable

For the longest time I thought that I hated him.

I would jump to rage with the same speed that I jumped and forgive him .

Until my forbearance went into foreclosure where none could live.

I thought I hated him.

I would speak out of turn using words that would burn through skin; pierce the flesh and hollow out bone.

I thought I hated him.

I watched him pierce his dick through the time and space that it took for me to feel safe.

I hate feeling it.

I watched his lack of will to chill and build a home roam from host to bed post.

I hated the vortex of love that he created.

Trying to keep me sedated, separated from calm waters and deep love.

I hated the black hole that it became pulling away everything we felt like a remnant of love.

Nothing could escape because nothing was above that which the abyss he built ate,

down the very gravity that made him so damn perfect to me.

I hated the part of me that wanted to be free; I sewed comfort onto my pain.

I hated so many things and suffered many woes but I didn’t still hate him.

I wish so bad that I did.

I didn’t hate him; I just didn’t love him anymore.

The echo of his sex

I loved real hard once; just once.

I released my inhibitions every time this lover pressed against my skin.

I loved him like poetry, like sung songs still dancing in the wind.

I craved him from deep passion, to a pain that died as a rage.

I loved like a soft breath following a deep moan.

I mounted him through slippery slopes, from high means to low roads.

I loved in agony for the sake of ecstasy and drank of every spirit in between.

I lived for loves direction begging for words while his silence screamed.

I loved real hard once; but that tragedy came to an end as do all bad scenes.

Waiting

My dear we have all of our days,

and the most precious nights ahead of

us.

My dear love there is no rush;

we just aren’t as young.

We will have to fill each moment

with double the love and the triple the

touch.

With you darling that still would never be 

enough.

Just take my time as a gift that could 

never be returned.

There you may find my love and the

compassion that time earns. 

April Fool's

A fucking fool was given sight;

a blinded bitch was shown the light.

Dear Mother of Fucker, 

I know that shit stings.

You got just what you was looking for

and got played like some strings.

Them cards don't match. 

A truth that lied by its very name.

Either you got to play stupid, or you got

 to take another’s blame.

My guts in pain; don't laughter give life.

You got two of the same shoes but one don't fit right.

Its just a lil bit off;

The one that's left fit like a glove.

Now who can't say shit from already showing off.

Exchange

If you give a loaf of bread today. 

Take a loaf of bread tomorrow from the place you  gave.

What has been given?

Taking the laws of mathematics under consideration.

Here the equivalent of nothing lies. 

Nothing was gained as a result it was a simply exchange.

If you are in the company of anyone that takes consistently yet offers rarely; 

are they accepting an asset or are you nurturing a liability?

Take the law of preservation under consideration.

Which one is being utilized as a means to survive?

The laws of the universe are subject to no man. 

The truth may be hidden but it will always stand. 

We all love the garden, but not always to tend.

Some seek to profit; few seek to pay in.

Demons, devils and Mr. Telephone Man

Are you possessed or is it stress?

I see you feasting, consuming your own lies.

Are you angry by heart or upset by mind?

Do both make you bitter on the inside.

Are you creating disasters or making a mess?

False fixated on fool's pride.

Can the destruction in you digress?

Smiling outside, lies with bitter truth in the flesh.

Are you this hateful or is this a test?

1st wives club

I ain't taming no man.

I ain't keeping one up.

I ain't offering no dollars.

I have no water nor wages to spare.

I can't take you anywhere.

I can't be your crutch.

I can't fill out that application.

I can't pack that lunch.

I say this with love...

I don't give a fuck,

and ain't taking no shit.

I ain't swinging blows,

and ain't keeping no licks.

I will not fight for your love.

I can handle being alone.

I hate doing it by myself

I hate being alone.

I do a bid 'fore I slave for dick.

I ain't shoveling shit just to sleep in a barn.

I ain't diddling a field hand just to be on a farm.

I ain't raising a child that was abandoned as a man.

Try a single woman baby. 

I'm divorced cause I can’t .

Fuck

I stand in the face of my crime

and I humbly request my time.

I'll take each and every day,

as long as its over and stays that way.

There is a difference between you and I.

I am fighting to live, you are waiting to die.

I take ownership and stand by my plate;

you beg like a dog for scraps and wait.

I fight at a side.

You run, just to hide.

My provisions you call luck.

You cowardice, indignant fuck.

In the Mournings

We will break no bread.

We will meet no place.

I will drop no guard.

You will see no face.

I know my place.

I know where I stand.

I know my enemy.

I've taken my stance.

He who failed in husbandry;

now offers me romance

Vlad

Eyes of beauty, like blue ice in the new moon light:

Lips that taste of rose water and tea.

You fine as hell, but you not for me.

Lie to me some more, you so pretty I'll just listen.

Sugar wins sweet, but you get an honorable mention.

The makings of a good fuck, but baby need love and attention.

 

The Bridge

What does this have to do with the kids?

Everything you burned the only bridge that leads to them!

Your are related,

yet have no relation.

You playing upset,

you never celebrate them.

They learned you first

much better than me.

You burned that bridge

to try to hurt me.

Now you want me to give that relationship back?

Who can return what was never intact?

The broken promises and feelings ignored, lying, knowing you don't give a fuck.

I mourned for them like they wept for me.

You burned the bridge; I set us free.

Global Warming

There is calmness in the midst of a storm,

hear the silence as the clouds form.

Graceful is the dance of mist and breeze.

Fury of ice and flesh bound to freeze.

No cause for alarm let its fall begin.

No shock as sleeves whip in the wind.

No fear unless the water covers the knee.

I saw the tide rise yet I sailed through no sea. 

I saw no storm coming still I swam in the waves. 

I felt myself drowning yet the dead I did save. 

Clasping of  thunder, the roaring of the gulf.

Even the hardest of hearts no longer is tough.

Under the lightning, in darkness yet brave.

Swimming through canals that once were paved

Bury the wreckage, the builders be paid.

Collecting the bodies for an unmarked grave.

Rivers will find old reflections of glory.

In midst of the storm, the siren tells her story.

Seas hold oceans but nothing holds mine.

We watched our maiden drown 1000 times.

Hubris will humble the ego and mind.

Unspeakable

I never liked him,

there was never a time.

He was simply a monster that poisoned my mind.

I never liked him; he was cruel and unkind.

Eventually; I learned to hate.

I had the good sense to hide.

Close my eyes to black out memories, 

and prevent my souls divide .

If you keep your eyes closed 

you'll forget all the pain.

Keep your composure;

hide your tears in the rain.

Make it easy to forget about the hurt;

that is the road to stay sane.

If you keep your mouth closed 

you might not feel the shame.

If you lay in this grave,

you may escape the game.

Don't look.

I don't remember complaining. 

I just sat down and took my first pill. 

I almost died. 

Don't look.

I wonder if I could die.

I felt pain everywhere.

Too close to death to cry.

Don't look.

Be still.

Don't walk.

Don't move.

Death had pity.

Still something is missing.

Don't look.  

You'll only remember the pain.

Trees

He like a mix of  bad nightmares and good weed.

Singing lies like "Baby you got what I need."

Leading on to cut off before the end,

not saying he's no good just not a friend.

He'll watch most of the movie then leave in the near middle,

playing on emotions and empathy like a fiddle. 

He sweet too, not like honey but like that fake sugar.

He take one bitch in and flick the other out like a booger.

Perhaps less extreme...

Like seeing a beautiful illusion in a fucked up dream.

He seems... but Darling he ain't.

I love him but I love me so I can't.

G.U.Y.

How gentle is a smile on  more gentle of a man

with sound of a voice that strikes fear where none can

To stand on your passion

with ego maintained

To speak with old wisdom

with vices contained

To touch with such softness

with power void of doubt

To build from dreams yet seek no clout

To be humble in my eyes

yet catch every stare

To stand in the sun and be brightest there

To pick up the sword for lost kings battle

To tear down a wall not to break but dismantle

To build a kingdom where one did fall

To walk with a crown and give freely to all

To be love I doubt yet cannot deny

My sweetest of dreams you must be a lie

Life and Art

The devoted, "Who's my good girl?"

 

The devotee, "In an ocean of women; I am your cherished pearl."

Her chin clasped in his hand. "True enough; I asked if you where mine and good girl?"

Smiling her eyes wander off in defiance breathlessly "Forgive me I misunderstood".

Slowly deliberately increasing only in intensity "Who does this belong to?"

Locking eyes with the devoted, she exhales deep. "You."

Nodding he uttered" Me. So breathe and hold what is mine to control the point of ecstasy."

No tension in my body; I am falling in to bliss numb and hazy.

"Open your eyes; look inside of mine. I want you to know it’s still real every time"

" And" softly "What if I were to refuse."

Right now you're getting fucked; play with me and you'll get subdued.

"What" inhales sharply "makes you think you have that much control?"

"Be quite baby and pay me what you owe."

A touch of lust

I awaken in the darkness;

I feel you near just out of touch

yet close enough to be right here.

My smile starts to blush;

my eyes hide to a peek.

The air around us is still 

and the smoke in the deep 

dances all around you.

You feel like power; 

but you taste like lust.

If it looked like you were here for love or that you wanted "us";

we could never take too long.

I'd learn loves notes;

and compose every song.

My spirit murmurs into your soul;

every touch takes me into tantric bliss.

Ecstacy is in each fingertip and you

send me out of body.

Pulsating together we compose 

harmonies of passion that play out like 

symphonies. 

Memories of rolling in bliss from bed to floor.

It’s too bad I don't love you anymore.

Drink

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorn.

A wise man should know do woman no harm.

The fool that chooses to will certainly be ferried to his glory.

They shall call his folly the root of her fury.

Knife in back or belly she’s innately accustomed to removing blades; 

not from strength does she; nor is she brave. 

Women can survive and navigate fueled purely by inherent unquantifiable rage.

Not revered but feared burdened to carry and calm these weapons of blood.

Laying dormant and sleep, quailed with her kindness and love.

She feeds rage peace, barters and begged this barbarity till it stayed sleep. 

It lay dormant and quiet only for a miserable fool to wake the blood thirsty beast.

No burden shall left or torment will be  spared nor lesson unearned;

be ever so mindful of the bitch you burn. 

To my children

Always look around and listen carefully to the world

in crowds or silence the frequency always speaks.

The Earth lives my hearts; 

everything is energy and every energy exchanges.

Let your choices be inspired but direct because of this.

Observe every likeness of GOD that dwells within humanity;

see what is done for peace and what is sacrificed for war. 

Do not run to cells; nor race to graves.

Live by Laws of Kings and not by books of Slaves.

Be the love you needed at you lowest;

be the protector you needed at you weakest.

Use wisdom and discernment to follow the golden law of treatment.

Don't wait until your heart is shattered to leave.

If you break healing starts by picking up the pieces.

Appear to have nothing if you wish to have everything. 

Never lead with accomplishments nor possessions; 

jealousy is a disease that’s treated as a confection.

If you exchange love for money you wont be left with anything at all.

If you exchange money for love the wicked will feed on your downfall.

Remember Earth is just here; but Heaven is Home.

My loves even if  I leave I am never truly gone.