Never Again

You, she and me?

REALLY?!?

Why would you put me in the middle of that?

The fuck is your problem; and said you was single man?

Did I tell you that I wanted to be the third wheel or your side bitch?

My heart was already bruised what’s really wrong with you kid?

Nah, seriously what made you think that disrupting my healing was cool or like it was something to do? 

Better yet did you think it was like that song and I would feel so good being used?

Did you figure you should take the carcass of our friendship (which was obviously fake);

cut pieces out of it mix it with lies and insult somehow make a diamond certified mixtape?

Or was it revenge cause I checked you on being full of shit?

Maybe it was because I was trying too hard to be a friend?

I’m curious, did it make you two closer in the end?

Was the distance that great?

Did the bridge that connected you start to crumble or did it break?

You had to braid my veins for ropes;break my bones to form a bridge 

for yall to get over whatever y’all goingthrough?

Did fucking me make the relationship better for you?

Did the taste of my pussy add spice to your life?

Bitch am I the glue that made shit right?

I’m asking, cause I wanna know what the fuck exactly did I do to encounter both of you?

You and your psycho bitch doing psycho shit;

hiding hands while throwing bricks like she ain’t do shit.

Meanwhile you so single really she don't exist.

"I gotta test that kid"

"No, no this where I live"

"We like co parent thats it" 

"Don’t overthink all the time."

Every word a damn lie.

Waiting

My dear we have all of our days,

and the most precious nights ahead of

us.

My dear love there is no rush;

we just aren’t as young.

We will have to fill each moment

with double the love and the triple the

touch.

With you darling that still would never be 

enough.

Just take my time as a gift that could 

never be returned.

There you may find my love and the

compassion that time earns. 

Jack Rabbit

 

I love you but you lie and cum too quick. 

You just speak to go along for the longest ride on the smoothest trip. 

When the truth hits; you’re the lie that reads the room.

When the veil thins you beat the good with the bad end on the broom. 

Not to say you’re doomed you’re just up on your fucked. 

I gave you enough chances; good bye and good luck. 

OUT

I release myself from your dangerous habits.

I release myself from the lie that I believed.

You are no where near someone like me.

I release myself from your life threatening parenting skill.

I release myself from your hurtful blood-ties.

I release myself from your like-minded surroundings.

I release myself from the mockery of excellence.

I release myself from drama fueled foolishness.
I am free from diminished accomplishments.

I am liberated from putting out fires started by stupidity.

I am done running in place just to make the wheels spin.

I live in peace; I keep low functioning people and spirits away from me.

I don’t need to battle unhealed, self hating nor bullies just to stand.

I am not teaching my daughters what I didn't know what made me look a fool.

Dont to run behind any man; if he act like he wants to leave let him have a go.

If you have to stand in front of judge for help with  them kids then he a whore.

Too weak to admit that his family is the street’s; he is fathered by his opps.

He loves his suppliers; he nurtures his habits.

I gave up looking for truth in the words of a liar.

I crawled out of depression; I stopped grieving the loss.

I am free of a lost cause that’s just not how I want life to be; 

street medication seeking from your enemy YEAH that's enough for me.

Do whatever it is you want; I am free.

Baby Cakes

I am not the prize;

I am the baby.

I am not high value;

I am priceless.

I am not wife material;

I am an indispensable asset.

The echo of his sex

I loved real hard once; just once.

I released my inhibitions every time this lover pressed against my skin.

I loved him like poetry, like sung songs still dancing in the wind.

I craved him from deep passion, to a pain that died as a rage.

I loved like a soft breath following a deep moan.

I mounted him through slippery slopes, from high means to low roads.

I loved in agony for the sake of ecstasy and drank of every spirit in between.

I lived for loves direction begging for words while his silence screamed.

I loved real hard once; but that tragedy came to an end as do all bad scenes.

Trees

He like a mix of  bad nightmares and good weed.

Singing lies like "Baby you got what I need."

Leading on to cut off before the end,

not saying he's no good just not a friend.

He'll watch most of the movie then leave in the near middle,

playing on emotions and empathy like a fiddle. 

He sweet too, not like honey but like that fake sugar.

He take one bitch in and flick the other out like a booger.

Perhaps less extreme...

Like seeing a beautiful illusion in a fucked up dream.

He seems... but Darling he ain't.

I love him but I love me so I can't.

I hate catfish

If I shit on a corner you would run to ram your nose in it.

I hate you bitch and now that I have your attention let me scribe your lying conniving ass some shit.

I ain’t never go give you attention bitch; I’d rather pretend you don’t exist. 

Fuck you. That’s it.

Demons, devils and Mr. Telephone Man

Are you possessed or is it stress?

I see you feasting, consuming your own lies.

Are you angry by heart or upset by mind?

Do both make you bitter on the inside.

Are you creating disasters or making a mess?

False fixated on fool's pride.

Can the destruction in you digress?

Smiling outside, lies with bitter truth in the flesh.

Are you this hateful or is this a test?

Short Lived

Its like....

Energy taste like the air moving between to lips just before a kiss.

Energy that feels like inhaling every nostalgic scent.

Energy akin to the apple of eyes welling up; an exhale and a smile.

Energy feels like inspiration meeting anticipation.

Energy is an open heart an inspired mind.

Maybe we might be two of the same kind.

"Shame has to switch sides" -Gisèle Pélicot.

This is no poem. 

It is a confession.

I was raped in my home;

by a man that I loved.

Repeatedly.

It broke something in me.

It stole the peace out of my sleep.

It fueled my insomnia.

I once confronted him only to hear

"You was moving like you wanted it."

He spoke of my body parts like individual discardable possessions.

He brought up my trauma as if they were my transgressions.

He questioned my sanity and my mental state.

I only told him I didn't like that because it felt like being rape.

He retaliated by cheated repeatedly within eye shot knowing that I was stuck.

The abuse increased heavily as I removed all of my love.

My questions and attempted discussions were met with wrathful silence.

My days were filled with selected hardships and flooded with back-handed insults.

I learned something deeper than hate results from the exploitation of love.

Shut the window

Looking for peace in chaos is pointless;

but trying to find it is addictive.

Letting it go and leaving it alone is the only solution.

I am the catalyst; a catapult for what is resistant to change.

If they scar me with malice; they'll be healed with pain.

Keeper of the Balance can release sorrow like rain. 

By HIS love I come out of battles beaming; wounded and unafraid.

Move like Sahara sands I am the sharpest blade.

Still wisdom won't let me waste myself in a space or with man.

That takes progress from my purpose and makes life quicksand.

The only thing offered is being stuck in cycles victims cannot bare to leave.

They think treachery a call  to action untrustworthy in their misdeeds.

They put all faith in tit for tat; crooked is the only way they play.

They would rob and orphan blind then weep about the bed they made.

Take flight like the breeze  I'm not what you need; 

shut the window and stay away from me.

Unspeakable

I never liked him,

there was never a time.

He was simply a monster that poisoned my mind.

I never liked him; he was cruel and unkind.

Eventually; I learned to hate.

I had the good sense to hide.

Close my eyes to black out memories, 

and prevent my souls divide .

If you keep your eyes closed 

you'll forget all the pain.

Keep your composure;

hide your tears in the rain.

Make it easy to forget about the hurt;

that is the road to stay sane.

If you keep your mouth closed 

you might not feel the shame.

If you lay in this grave,

you may escape the game.

Don't look.

I don't remember complaining. 

I just sat down and took my first pill. 

I almost died. 

Don't look.

I wonder if I could die.

I felt pain everywhere.

Too close to death to cry.

Don't look.

Be still.

Don't walk.

Don't move.

Death had pity.

Still something is missing.

Don't look.  

You'll only remember the pain.